To Change the World, We Must First Change Ourselves
How I Found My Freedom + Myself
So many of us walk around numb, frustrated, and disconnected from our joy, peace, and freedom.
It’s easy to blame others or our circumstances for this disconnect, but often, we haven’t even begun to do the work of unraveling who we are in the world.
What does this work entail?
Finding our resilience, our own definition of success, and our power. This leads you to understand who you are, which can change the world.
We must all go through this journey. Here’s mine.
The Buttkicking(s) That Taught Me Who I Am
When I was a senior in college, I found out that I needed a total hip replacement.
Yep, I was 21 years old.
This was the first time I realized that not everything was in my control.
I was humbled and pretty alone in dealing with this as a 21-year-old. (Believe it or not, it’s hard to find many 21-year-olds who’ve encountered debilitating health conditions typically assigned to their grandparents.)
This diagnosis led me to yoga, meditation, and actually learning how to be still (I didn’t have much choice!). But most of all, it taught me how to have compassion for myself and for others, and in the end, it taught me how fucking strong I am!
Since then, I’ve realized my strength time and time again through divorce, not getting the job, making some other big-ass mistakes, and most recently through my mother’s death. Though it’s a hard lesson every time, I’ve come to a strong sense of who I am, what makes me happy, and how I can help others find their own strength and success.
When you know you can handle whatever happens and things outside of your control, you can focus on what you CAN control, and that’s when the big changes happen.
This came to a head when realized I wasn’t spending my time in a way that was aligned with who I was, so I decided to leave my family business. Telling my dad, and my other family members I was leaving was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do, but I did it because I knew it was the right thing. (Resilience strikes again!)
I was making this decision for me, not for anyone else. It looked silly on the outside, but on the inside, I knew it was right.
That decision catapulted me in the direction of making decisions based on what I valued most for me, not because society or anyone else thought it was best. (Side note, this is how I define success!)
With my clients, my employees, my friends, and my family, I now take a stand for this stance. It has become my mission. (Actually, I think it always was, but I just didn’t know it until I started living it for me!)
What Made All The Difference
Then, I found coaching
Which is ironic, because I’d actually been coaching in a professional setting for years and helping family, friends, and coworkers with intimate personal issues (I’ve always been “that” person that everyone seeks out for listening and advice).
Despite that, it wasn’t until I had my first personal coach that I really ‘got’ what coaching could provide.
It was 2018 and my mother’s health was declining quickly. The stress of responsibility, resentment from my past, and grappling with my own self-love impacted every area of my life from work to romantic partnerships to friendships. You name it, it was suffering.
I’d been helping others for years, so I decided to find the same type of help and support for myself.
This coach provided me with such a sense of loving support while pushing me to look inward as I made each small incremental step. He saw me, held me as human, and celebrated me just as I was, while also gently nudging me forward. His ability to ‘be’ with me on my journey, through a difficult time, and also to gently push me forward, allowed me to see and accept myself more fully.
As a result, I experienced unlocks that had previously been inaccessible to me. I was able to untangle perceptions of myself. Perceptions like that little voice that says, "I am not quite enough...almost, but not quite." (That's what my little voice says. Each of us has a different version of that.)
At the end of that initial coaching experience, I was able to confidently declare what was most important to me and why, and then celebrate the uniqueness of my desires, values, and priorities rather than question them. I was able to see, accept, and maybe even love, my role within my family dynamic. THAT unlock was a big one for me. It allowed me to forgive and move forward with love… and with the healthy addition of some boundaries.
I had done it all. Great friends, meditation, journaling, and therapy weren’t enough. It was my coach and my commitment to doing the work that made the real difference.
I knew then that my natural abilities were conducive to coaching, and that I’d just found a way to bring my purpose to life in the world, to create impact in the same way I’d been impacted.
Other things to know about me
+ I’m a proud dog mom. Otto + Emmie have my whole heart.
+ You’ll find me often wearing a leather jacket or a kimono; fashion is a power play for me. Both of these cloaks remind me of who I am at my core.
+ I absolutely love live music. It feeds my soul and I’ll travel just about anywhere to see the perfect show.
+ When I'm not enjoying a live show, you can bet I've got music on in the background. Take a listen to some of my favorites here.
Your Personal Work Ripples Outward
This is what I discovered when I connected with my resiliency and learned who I truly am:
When you make the decision to align with yourself, to love and honor who you are, you create space and permission for others to do the same.
End result: A ripple effect of folks operating at an evolved level. This ripple effect gets larger and larger naturally until it’s an unstoppable wave.
If you’re ready to explore this work and connect with who you really are (the resilience, your happiness, your purpose, all of it), I’d love to guide you.
Take a minute to write an introduction that is short, sweet, and to the point.